Inciting the mass’s: FURY, on the World…
A bi-weekly column bringing heat back to Pro-Wrestling
PART ONE: Experience the Fury
North America may just be a dream for you uncivilized cretin’s in sub-Saharan Africa, but for me its just another schlep that comes with the territory of being a class A global citizen. To be honest Canada isn’t all its cracked up to be; I have travelled the world and without a doubt this is the most ‘anal retentive’ country on the face of the planet. Where else do pedestrians wait at a red light before crossing the road when is no car in sight? I’m serious the anal reality of Vancouver is so ridiculous its scary. When arriving at Vancouver airport I was welcomed by a force of no-nonsense customs officers wearing heavy duty flack jackets and armed to the teeth, for some reason I looked suspicious… so Nick Fury was pulled aside and searched. Lo and behold they found trace’s of cocaine on my person, Nick Fury was handcuffed, read his rights and put in a guarded room while all my bags were searched, my computer was analyzed and I was questioned for a little over two hours. Luckily Nick Fury had those nutcase’s eating out of his hand, talking me out of the situation and sending me on my merry way. Canadian law enforcement soon realized what their South African counterparts have known for years, you simply cant get the better of the Fury. Enough about my thoughts on Canadian pigs, my computer is probably flagged by this overprotective state and all I say and do is being filter through some sort of dark over-funded “intelligence” agency.
Nick Fury has found a temporary home at Extreme Canadian Championship Wrestling, ECCW, a place to hone my skills and learn my sport in a country that gave us Bret Hart, Jericho, Edge and Benoit. I have had the fortune of attending three of their events around Vancouver, although the style is unbelievably different from what I am used to the wrestling is truly impressive. From the first match I saw here I knew to make an impact I would have to go out of my comfort zone and force myself to engage in mat wrestling, grappling, holds and counter holds. Their grounding in these aspects of pro wrestling are way superior to mine with the majority coming from amateur wrestling backgrounds, while I come from a more drunken beer hall brawl background. To get myself up to speed I joined ECCW’s Slam Academy run by a 6 time NWA Canadian Junior Heavyweight champion Disco Fury, so far its been quite the experience, hard physical training is what the Fury is used to, but the stamina and cardio work is (as anyone who has met me will testify) not up my street. I enjoy my strong beer, fast woman, late nights on the town and fatty foods… all of which is being cut down while training under Disco Fury. Lessening my extra curricular activities in the beer capital of the western hemisphere is no mean feat, especially as I strategically rented digs within a stones throw of the local pub. But learning new in ring skills, warm-ups, tips on psychology and an ever broadening move set is well worth the sacrifice. Of course you cant ever really tame Nick Fury down, I am who and what I choose to be and if you don’t like it, be you South African or Canadian, I’ll be more than happy to take you outside and school you the only way I know how…through Nick Fury’s unrelenting, unreasonable and unprejudiced special home brewed brand of unadulterated brutality.
ECCW - http://www.eccw.com/